GINX: I’m here today with God, in the first of a series of interviews I have planned. My first guest is someone I hope to have back again many times—
GOD: I know how many.
GINX: Well of course you do. It’s contingent on how many times you agree to talk to me.
GOD: I am always with you, always listening.
GINX: So I hear. Kind of creepy... but that’s sort of why I feel qualified to do the interview—
GOD: Even though you’re an atheist?
GINX: I’m not going to interrupt you, don’t interrupt me.
[uncomfortable silence]
GINX: Okay, I’ll just start with the questions.
GOD: Ask away, my child.
GINX: You can stop being a stereotype at any minute, by the way. So, do I call you God or Yahweh or what?
GOD: You can call me the Infinite, the Prime Mover, He who is, the Source, the Light, tickler of Evil—
GINX: The tickler of Evil?
GOD: It sounds better in Sanskrit.
GINX: Okay, sorry to interject there. I’m just going to call you God.
GOD: As you wish.
GINX: God, where do you come from?
GOD: I exist outside of time.
GINX: Alright... but what’s your back story? Who are your parents?
GOD: I am He from whom all things emanate. I am the alpha and the omega.
GINX: What are those, multivitamins?
GOD: They’re the first and last letter of the Greek alphabet, and you know that. Quit trying to be a smart ass.
GINX: Okay, let me put this a different way... what is your earliest memory?
GOD: What?
GINX: What’s the first thing you remember?
GOD: Well... Nothing. I can remember Nothing.
GINX: You have no memory?
GOD: No, I’m saying I remember when there was not a single thing in existence.
GINX: Nothing at all, except you.
GOD: Correct.
GINX: That’s the first thing you remember, opening your eyes and there was nothing?
GOD: I don’t have eyes.
GINX: You’re ducking the question. You don’t remember being born or how you came about?
GOD: I am the first thing to exist.
GINX: God, I’ll tell you what I think.
GOD: I know what you think.
GINX: How mystical of you. I think you were abandoned at birth—
GOD: Nope.
GINX: —and that your stance on child abandonment, and subsequently your views on abortion —
GOD: No, no, no...
GINX: —are a form of Jungian projection.
GOD: That’s completely false.
GINX: Oh, really?
GOD: Yes.
GINX: What if I told you I’ve been in contact with your mother—
GOD: You didn’t!
GINX: Join us for our next installment of Mythical Interviews—
GOD: Don’t you dare!
GINX: —when I interview God’s mom. Was God a good little deity, or a terror of Biblical proportions?
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There's nothing illogical or unreasonable about God having existed forever, having no beginning or end. Unless we make the classic error of assuming that God is a creature like us, which He is not.
ReplyDeleteSo it is logical and reasonable to say the same of the universe, since it is clearly not a creature like us...
ReplyDeleteIt isnt quite the same. Can you say that the universe is an intelligence capable of thought? Nevermind a "creature".
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I would call God, or his design, intelligent. Who would design men with nipples?
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, plenty of people see the Earth as essentially a creature, and it has been seen in the past as a God. Why not the universe? Pantheists see the universe precisely this way.
But does the universe have "intelligence"? Is it (damn you Terminator series) "self=aware"?
ReplyDeleteI would imagine it's as self-aware as Sarah Palin's youngest.
ReplyDeleteAnimals don't need to be self-aware to be alive. Intelligence is not a pre-requisite for anything. It is merely an arbitrary phenomenon of information gathering found in some higher order life forms, often mammals.
Chemicals don't need a brain to react.
Unless we make the classic error of assuming that God is a creature like us, which He is not
ReplyDeleteHe is not a creature like us but we were created based on his image? So we are like him, but he is not like us.
Why always "him" by the way? I prefer to use "it".
Anyway, funny post Ginx :)
Are we "timeless" Hugo? Can you or I create an universe?
ReplyDeleteYes, I am timeless
ReplyDeleteYes, I can create universe
Maybe God isn't timeless. Maybe God didn't create the universe.
ReplyDeleteOh the assumptions we make, based only on the lies of a being who won't reveal His past.
He always was and always will be. He is not a creature like us. Hugo, could you create a universe right now and show it to me?
ReplyDeleteHe always was and always will be. He is not a creature like us. Hugo, could you create a universe right now and show it to me?
ReplyDeleteI exist right now. No matter how far in the past you go, I was meant to exist today. No matter how far in the future you can think of, I will have existed. I am timeless.
Yes! I can create a universe, right here, right now.
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Done! Did you see it? It flashed right behind your head while you were staring at the dots. unfortunately, its life span is very short because we are far apart, if you were next to me, I could show it to you for a few seconds.
A lie repeated is no less a lie.
ReplyDelete"I don't know if I would call God, or his design, intelligent. Who would design men with nipples?"
ReplyDeleteCheck and mate.
Except.... since teleology is largely subjective.... "God made nipples so women would have something to tickle when men were fracking them."
My favorite is the appendix, an organ whose human function is to become inflamed and kill you.
ReplyDelete